Serve. Don't Sell.

To serve. We’re not talking about serving tea. Or a tennis ball. Or waiting on customers. Nor are we talking about serving in the patriarchal, one-up/one-down system that’s built on a differential of power.

We’re talking about a new paradigm of doing business. An evolutionary mindset that’s fundamental to changing the status quo and the old transactional ways of business . . . a new system that’s built on the joy and fulfillment of offering long-lasting value over the ‘sugar high’ of making a quick sale.

To Serve.

Have you been in a pressured situation of buying or selling something that’s important to you, and had to haggle on a price? Perhaps it’s purchasing a car or negotiating a contract, and you felt this rising tension in your body, noticing the walls of defense coming up?

Or perhaps you’ve put yourself out there by starting a business and selling your work, and you’ve been questioned about your pricing.

A potential customer is interested in what you have to offer but thinks your rates are too high, or asks you to explain the features that justify the price.

All of a sudden, what may have started as a free-flowing conversation has turned into a tense, guarded exchange. While some people are natural negotiators and thrive on this dynamic – viewing it as a game – for many, that is not the case.

It can feel like the dynamic has shifted from a conversation . . . to a debate.

From sharing . . . to convincing.

From opening up . . . to shutting down.

And the deep tragedy of this is that it often prevents the most sensitive, generous, creative hearts and spirits from contributing their work to the world.

I speak from experience. I used to own a children’s toy store, and I loved working with customers to find that perfect educational toy or organic cotton onesie while trading stories about the challenges of parenting.

Sometimes I’d even hold the baby to let Mom have a few precious minutes alone to wander the aisles. But when it came time to pay, and I went to the cash register, and the customer went to the other side of the counter, the dynamic changed.

A literal and figurative barrier came up between us. It went from this intimate shared experience of parenting . . . to what kind of discount could I give this new mom. It went from human-to-human connection, to a sterile transaction-based exchange. The whole vibe change.

What I didn’t realize was this was all in my head. That it was my story of what it means to exchange value (i.e., to “sell”) that was at the root of the discomfort.

Many years have passed since then and as I’ve worked with clients, I’ve come to discover how common this story-telling is, especially for those who have invested something very personal . . . their heart and soul into building a business. How difficult it can be to make the transition from discussing the merits of your work to entering into a currency-based transaction (which….ahem….is business).

Exchange as Sharing.

To be in business – whether it’s for profit or a nonprofit – means exchange, and the way in which we view this relationship, this dynamic, is a harbinger of success.

Why? The more natural, the more free, the less anxiety-inducing this exchange process becomes, the more open we’ll be to having these conversations. To making the pitch. To launching the campaign. We’ll WANT to talk about our business and pricing – because we know that it’s a fair exchange based on value, not price.

It becomes about changing the energy, the mindset inside of you. To that of serving. Not selling.

How to get there?

Servant Leadership as a Model. We think it’s useful to borrow from leadership avatar Robert Greenleaf, father of the “servant leadership” movement who turned the business world and power structure upside down by saying that:

While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the ‘top of the pyramid,’ . . . the servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.” ~ Robert Greenleaf

This idea of inverting the model of traditional power structures may seem a bit heady, but the nuggets of truth from the “servant leadership” philosophy are universally applicable . . .

To the jeweler offering her gorgeous creations on Etsy. The therapist wanting to offer her gift of healing to her clients. The poet hoping to get his work published (and paid for it).

These truths are helpful in finding more ease in making the internal mindset shift to that of serving.

LISTENING

If you make a commitment to listening intently. you’re opening yourself to hearing everything. Everything.
This is a vulnerable place to be – as not all of the information coming your way may be positive or supportive or complimentary. However, this ability to hear what’s being said (and not said) is a cornerstone principle of serving.

How can you serve if you can’t hear what is being asked for? In your business, are you asking for feedback? How well are you listening to what comes back? Can you be curious about what’s being offered, and still remain grounded? Curious?

EMPATHY

This ability to understand what it feels like to be someone else, to walk a mile in the shoes of another, is essential to be able to really understand the experience of your customers and clients. This, like listening, requires vulnerability, humility and letting go of assumptions or preconceived notions of what it’s like to be on the receiving end of your product or service. It’s also a requirement for effective ‘persona’ development (a fancy term for in-depth and nuanced understanding of your markets).

This investment in deep empathy allows you to serve at a vastly different level from ‘your side of the counter.’

Can you take some time to be in the shoes of your ideal customer and client? What do they need? Want? Can you imagine the customer journey – step by step, tasting, feeling, seeing, sensing every step of the way? Do you have a different experience?

AWARENESS

The importance of self-awareness cannot be overstated, as having a deep understanding of the impacts of decisions and behavior on others is foundational to trust and building relationships.

Awareness comes at a price — as Greenleaf wrote: “Awareness is not a giver of a solace — it is just the opposite. It is a disturber and an awakener. Able leaders are usually sharply awake and reasonably disturbed.”

Again, this isn’t easy street. But it is a path of a longer customer journey where you’re building relationships that last, referrals that will continue to bring you business for years to come . . . why? Because you’re awake and attuned to where your people are – and you can meet them there.

What can you do to build your self-awareness, mindfulness, and attunement to the needs of your business and market? How aware are you of the voices in your head telling you different stories – and how do you decide which ones to believe? How can you dive even deeper into the perspectives of your market? How can you creative a forum for conversation so you can hear – really hear – what you people have to say?

COLLABORATION

Collaboration (Build Community) – By this we mean an acknowledgement that your work, your business, is part of the social fabric that, thread by thread, constitutes something much greater than the sum of the parts.

This principle places value on collaboration and sharing of ideas and resources – that of serving the whole by serving your people with integrity and openness.

If we reshape the conversation so that it’s about exchange of value, all of a sudden the dynamic changes, the pressure releases because you’re not trying to convince someone to do something they don’t want to do. You’re serving the whole.

You’re coming from a place of empowered ‘knowing,’ your power lies firmly within your body, it’s no longer grabbiness or ‘getting something from someone else.’

And the best part? This desire to serve – it’s innate. It’s natural. You KNOW how to do this. To listen. To be empathetic. To collaborate and share. Now it’s just about allowing it to come through in your messaging, positioning, storytelling, and marketing.

“It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve to serve first.” ~ Robert Greenleaf

Join us in making a small but meaningful difference in setting a higher bar for how we do business. Nothing less than the future of our planet depends on it.

Read Part 1: “Be Real. Be Prosperous.”

Your Story

Authenticity

All expressions of who you are and what you deliver are clear, honest, and in sync with your principles and values. Your website, emails, and promotions echo the foundational principles of your business.

Prosperity

Being real and principled doesn’t have to mean not being profitable. Unravelling the beliefs that make up your money story may be part of your journey. We are committed to building a future where prosperity and authenticity in business happily co-exist.

Creativity

“The way is made by walking it”
The act of a starting and building a business is one of the most creative acts there is. Don’t know the next step? Just start walking. The way will become clear, the fog will lift, you will know.

Interested to know more about how we help people grow their businesses?

Strategy Session

In this free 30-minute session, you will receive:

A free review of your website and branding
Online marketing strategies that might be helpful for you
Recommendations for specific “next step” actions you can take to see results immediately

No obligations, no hard-sell, no pressure! Schedule your session below, we will get back with you to set up a call.

We look forward to meeting you!

~ Mark and Angela

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